Selichos

We always begin saying Selichos in the month of Elul as a preparation for Rosh Hashanah. Sefardic communities start at the beginning of the month of Elul. Ashkenazic communities start the week of Rosh Hashanah, but when Rosh Hashanah falls on Monday or Tuesday, they start the week before. They always begin on Motzei Shabbos, at around midnight, which is around one o'clock in the morning because of daylight savings time, since that is the earliest time to begin. It's so precious to them that they begin as soon as they can. 

I remember that when I was six or seven years old, my father bought me my own Selichos book, and took me to 770 Eastern Parkway, the Rebbe's shul. I remember walking up Kingston Avenue in the middle of the night, there were so many people, young and old, men, women, boys and girls, it made a great impression on me. They were all going to say the first Selichos with the Rebbe. 

I found out later that although there were many shuls in Crown Heights, everyone went to 770, because when it comes to Selichos, it's better to have a big crowd. 

Selichos begins with ashrei and then the chazan says kadish, then we say, "To You Hashem is the righteousness (haTzedaka), and to us is the shamefacedness." In other words, Hashem's ways are just and correct, and because of the way we acted throughout the year, we should be ashamed. 

This verse uses the word haTzedaka to mean that Hashem is just and correct, it would make more sense to use the word haTzedek, which actually means just and correct. Why use the word haTzedaka, which means to give to the poor? 

The difference between Tzedek and Tzedaka. When you say, "Tzedek," it means just and correct, and as far as the one who is receiving the money, it is clear that he earned it, because then it is just and correct to give him payment. On the other hand, when you say "tzedaka," it means that he didn't earn it and you are under no obligation to give him, it's giving for no reason. It's not even a gift, because when you give a gift you at least have some pleasure giving it to him, because if not, you wouldn't give him a gift. However when it comes to tzedaka, you may not even know the person. It's tzedaka, giving for no reason. 

That is why we specifically say, "To You Hashem is the Tzedaka," because of the dual meaning of the word. Hashem is just in all His ways. And because of that we feel that if you consider what is just, it's not right for us to ask, therefore we only ask that He give us in a way of tzedakah, as we say in Selichos, "We have no approach to beseech before You, tzedaka, which is Yours alone is what we request." 

In truth, we would have been able to ask from a position of righteousness and justice, in other words, it is coming to us and we are deserving, since "All of Israel are children of Kings," meaning that we are princes and princesses. Princes and princesses are not used to doing work, so anything we do is considered hard work, a big deal and deserving of good pay. 

However, going down this path is not what we want to do, because our service to Hashem only reaches so far. Since we are limited our service reaches a limited place, and the blessings that come from that place are limited. We want something more. 

The Alter Rebbe says, "Who do I have in heaven and besides you I don't want anything, I don't want anything, I don't want Your Gan Eden, I don't want Your Olam Haba (World to Come), I don't want anything but You Yourself." 

Since Hashem is unlimited, the blessing that comes from Him is unlimited, and although deserve a lot on account of our service, we ask Hashem for tzedaka, to give us according to His infinite ability, unlimited blessing from Hashem's essence. And that is why we say, "Tzedaka, which is Yours alone is what we request." We want Hashem Himself. 

We don't want to come to Him with calculations, because then we are blessed with calculated blessing, but we want unlimited blessing. 

How do we make ourselves a vessel to receive Hashem's unlimited blessing? It is through, "to us is the shamefacedness." Through self nullification and being humble we touch the essence of Hashem, and draw blessing from there, and from there the blessing is tzedakah. 

And we are certain that Hashem will give us the blessings of children, health and sustenance, and a good and sweet year.