What Great Women Teach Us

This week's Parsha, Mattos Maasei, ends with the Daughters of Tzelafchad, keeping the words of Hashem, marrying into their father's tribe, Menashe.

The Torah here mentions them by name for the third time, an honor which is bestowed on very few. Not only that, Hashem chooses to close the book of Bamidbar, Numbers, with them. This clearly indicates that there is something about them that is central to the book of Bamidbar.

Machla, Tirtza, Chagla, Milka and Noa.

What are we meant to learn from these great women? How does it highlight the central theme of the book of Bamidbar?

The first thing to know about the daughter's of Tzelafchad is that they were selfless. In the case they brought before the Jewish people, they did not ask for any personal gain but rather that the Torah law be fulfilled, that their father have a portion of the holy land named for him.

They were holy, righteous learned and wise, they were patient and waited until the fortieth year in the desert to make their case. They never took there eye off the goal, to get their father, his rightful part in the holy land.

The book of Bamidbar is all about making our way to the Holy Land. Which for us means not simply living in Israel but living there under Torah rule, with the coming of Moshiach.

How do we accomplish this? First, by being learned and having the wisdom to understand our purpose. To be patient and do the necessary steps to bring it about. Keeping our focus on our purpose and finally, to stand before Hashem, now in the last moments of this exile and demand that justice be served, that He send Moshiach. Not for our personal gain but because it is what Hashem wants and what the Jewish people rightfully earned.

Hashem, being proud of the daughters of Tzelafchad, mentions them three times. If we act like them he will surely be proud and send Moshiach. The time has come.

Strength Through Dark Times

In this week's parsha, Pinchas, we read about the regular sacrifices brought on the Temple altar. There were daily, Shabbat, new month and festival offerings.

Every day two yearling lambs were brought as "constant burnt offerings. The first you should do in the morning, and the second you should do in the afternoon".

What is the significance of bringing one in the "morning" and one in the "afternoon"? What lessons could we take from this constant burnt offering, for our relationship with Hashem, and for our personal relationships?

The Hebrew word for sacrifice is "korban" which comes from the word karov, close. The idea here it to bring yourself closer, strengthen your connection with Hashem.

This must be "constant". Hashem wants us to work on developing our relationship with Him every day.

How do you get closer to Hashem? By being a "burnt offering". Burnt offerings were unique, whereas other sacrifices, only parts were burnt on the altar, the burnt offering was entirely consumed. Hashem wants us to give our total self to him. To be open and vulnerable and to allow our entire self to be consumed, becoming one with Hashem.

"Morning" is symbolic of the good times, when the light of Hashem shines bright. At these times things are easy, there are no obstacles to overcome. "Afternoon" is the hard times, when the sun is going down, obstacles make Hashem seem distant. Even in these dark times of exile we need to come closer. The darker it is, the greater the effort we need to give to connect. The bond we forge in these dark times, is beyond anything we could have created in times of light.

Ultimately the light will return but because of the closeness we have developed, the light will be greater than anything we could have imagined.

Same is true for personal relationships. To get closer you must be "constant", you must work on your relationship every day. Give your entire self to your other, allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable. This is easy when things are fine. However, it is the persistence and effort in times of difficulty that will take your relationship to a whole new level. Deeper, stronger and more wonderful than anything you could have imagined.

Struggling with ALS has been a tremendous strain on my family, especially on my wife. Nevertheless, it has brought us closer as a family and as a couple. And for that I am thankful.
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Dedicated to my wife Dina, whose strength, kindness and love has been the glue that holds our family together, a true aishes chayil.

Modesty and Fidelity

In this week's parsha, we have the famous verse, "Ma tovu ohalecha Yaakov, mishkenosecha Yisrael", "How good are your tents Jacob, your dwellings Israel". 

The wicked Balam wanted to curse the Jewish people but when he saw their modesty and fidelity he could only bless them. What did he see? He saw their tents set up in a way as to give each one privacy. There was no direct line of sight from one tent into another. He saw that they were organized according to their tribes, which was possible because of marital fidelity. 

This is followed by the prophecy of Moshiach's coming. 

What lesson can we take from here? How does it connect to Moshiach? 

Many are unaware that the laws of modesty apply to both men and women. It covers modesty in speech, dress, action and thought. 

We also have laws of appropriate behavior between men and women. 

It is these laws that has been our protection and makes us special and holy. 

We find these laws difficult because they go against nature. 

It is natural for a man to have inappropriate thoughts. Which can bring to immodest speech and actions. 

While men love dress codes and uniforms it goes against the grain and is totally unnatural to women. To women, their dress is an expression of how they feel inside. If the dress code is not how they feel, it feels like a lie. 

To this we have a two step plan. First, laws to set boundaries and safeguards. Second, to work on our inside so it resembles the Jewish spirit.  

Don't think that this means that you have to be a prude or that you need to dress in shmattes. Rather, to become beautiful and dignified within and allow that to be expressed in thought, speech, action and dress. 

A Jewish man is meant to be a light of decency and a living example to the world around him. 

A Jewish woman is meant to be a bas melech, a princess, beautiful and dignified. Her presence effecting her surroundings. 

When we act with modesty and fidelity we are in a position to change the world around us. We become as Hashem's ambassadors to make His presence known, accepted and welcome to all. It is the foundation upon which our Torah and Mitzvahs stand. It protects from our worst enemies because we are protected when we are Hashem's ambassadors. Finally, it is the basis and starting point of our positive effect on the world that will bring Moshiach. 

 

Simply G-dly

In this week's Parsha, Chukas, we are taught the law of the Red Heifer. If someone comes in contact with a dead body, they have to be purified by being sprinkled with water mixed with the ashes of the red heifer. About this Mitzvah the Torah says "Zos Chukas HaTorah", "THIS is the decree of the Torah". Meaning, there is something about this Mitzvah which is central to Torah and its observance. 

This Mitzvah is a "chok", a Mitzvah who's rational is beyond human comprehension and is done just because it is Hashem's will. 

What are some lessons that we can take from this Mitzvah that effect Jewish life and observance? 

The first lesson is that we must be alive. Our attitude, outlook and focus must be positive and alive. Some see Torah as a bunch of rules telling them what they can't do. To them Torah becomes a miserable ball and chain which they lug around. Some even take pride in this form of misery "Look at how miserable I am for Hashem". This is not living. The Torah wants us to purify ourselves from even contact with death. To live with Torah, is to see the positive purpose and mission that Hashem has given to us. Instead of a ball and chain, Torah becomes wings with which you can soar. Mitzvos become a joy to do. Even the negative commandments are kept out of joy and positivity. You get to be Hashem's messenger to do these things. 

Another thing we can learn from the red heifer is, that its reason is beyond human comprehension. We only do it because it is Hashem's will. Same could be true about all the Mitzvos, even the ones we do understand, we can and should do them for a higher purpose, because it is Hashem's will. This makes our seemingly mundane actions meaningful too. 

Being unable to do anything for myself, I see more than ever how simple actions can be meaningful and G-dly. Just sitting, keeping me company, is so precious to me. 

This perhaps is the  most important lesson of all. It is easy to see prayer, Torah study, teffillin, Shabbos candles, etc. As G-dly. To Hashem, our most mundane act can be G-dly. This is especially true when we show kindness to one another, what is more G-dly than that. 

Humbly Together

In this week's parsha, Korach, we read about the rebellion of Korach against Moshe. Eventually Korach died being swallowed alive by the earth. 

By all accounts Korach was a religious man and a Torah scholar. What moves a man like him to rebel against Moshe, who was installed by Hashem as the leader of the Jewish people? Why was he swallowed by the earth? 

It is not enough to be religious and learned in Torah. There is a third ingredient that is necessary and that is humility. When one is ego driven he is doomed to fail. All the Torah in the world won't help from being swallowed alive by his ego. Not being able to see anyone other than himself, he even fails to recognize the true leader of the Jewish people. This is the route of all divisiveness. He knows  that everything Moshe does is Hashem's will but his ego doesn't want to recognize Hashem's authority either. Recognizing Moshe's authority is recognizing Hashem's authority. 

While this example is extreme, it is something we could learn from. When you feel like you are getting the raw end of a situation. Before starting an argument, ask yourself, is this truly unfair or is this my ego rearing his ugly head? 

Being humble will be your salvation in all your relationships. At home, at work, at shul and everywhere else. It will also help you overcome life's challenges because instead of thinking "why me?", you will think "Hashem put me in this predicament, what is His reason for putting me here? What does He want me to gain from this situation? How would He want me to use my situation to effect others positively?" etc. 

Being humble does not mean feeble, week or insignificant. Being humble means that you can recognize the other, not only yourself. It means you are not alone. It means that you feel that Hashem is always with you. 
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I grew up by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, it was easy to see that he was the leader of the Jewish People. 

Since I was a young yeshiva student, I've felt that the greatest accomplishment was to do what the Rebbe wants. 

However, There was a competing need, the need to be in the presence of the Rebbe. 

To be by the Rebbe, or to do his holy work?

Though I was in his presence on many occasions, from the age of 16, whenever I had to choose, between doing the Rebbe's work, and being in his presence, doing his work always won out. I felt that being by the Rebbe, was for me, while doing his work, was for him. 

It seemed clear, That to be the Rebbe's soldier, accomplishing what he wanted, was by far more important. 

Gimmel Tammuz, 21 years ago, some were shattered, broken, and it took them some time to pick up the pieces, and figure out what to do next. Until this point, for them, being by the Rebbe was everything. What now?

For me it was sad, but it didn't break me. It was clear. Just continue to do what the Rebbe wants. 

Ultimately, I got the best of both. Being close on hundreds of occasions, and doing the Rebbe's work. 

When I was close I felt that he was proud of me, I was his man, his soldier. 

Going on Shlichus was just the next step, as I was already a Shliach. 

Now, when you are the Rebbe's messenger, you are one with the Rebbe, you can't get any closer than that. 

The Rebbe is the Moshe of our generation. Hashem speaks through him. His mission is Hashem's mission. Doing the Rebbe's mission is doing Hashem's mission.  You are then one with the Rebbe, one with Hashem. Now that's close. 

What is there left to do? Just a little. 

You are the man, or at least you could be if you chose. In your home, at work and wherever you are. 

This way we will accomplish the mission. We will bring Moshiach and be once again in his presence.   

Why Challah Tastes So Good

In this week's parsha, Shlach, we read about the Mitzvah of Challah, when baking bread, separate a part of the dough for Hashem. This would be given to the Kohen, however today we burn it.

In the Torah the paragraph that speaks about the Mitzvah of Challah says the word "Tarimu" three times. The literal translation of Tarimu is "you should lift up".

Though men are also obligated to do this Mitzvah, it is considered as one of the special Mitzvahs near and dear to Jewish women. This Mitzvah is so holy that women use the time of separating Challah to pour their tender hearts out to Hashem.

What makes this Mitzvah so special? Why does the Torah stress tarimu, you should lift up?

Bread is the most basic food and is symbolic of our most basic physical needs. It is what we toil for and work for, to make "bread" and to put "bread" on the table. It is symbolic of everything physical in the world.

When you separate Challah your are touching on the essence of Judaism. You are taking the physical and lifting it up to a spiritual state.

First, emunah, belief in Hashem, we recognize that all we have is from Hashem. One may think "my smarts an abilities has made me all this wealth", which, in a way is like saying, that it is not from Hashem. Separating Challah to Hashem is a statement and recognition that everything we have is from Him.

Second, our purpose is to infuse the physical world with G-dlyness, even something as basic as food needs to be infused and used for Hashem.

Finally, the food that we feed our families is a holy endeavor, the future of the Jewish people is nourished by the hands of holy Jewish women.

You feed us Emuna, you feed us essence, you feed us with a Mitzvah. You feed us with love, you feed us with pride and you feed us with tears.  You are taking the physical and lifting it up to a spiritual state. The heart of a Jewish woman can do all that and more.

I am so grateful to all of you who have done the Mitzvah of Challah in my merit. Thank you for your prayers and tears. 

Try, Try Again

In this week's parsha, Bahaalosecha, we read about the mitzvah of Pesach Sheini. If someone was impure or far away when the Passover sacrifice was being brought, he should bring it on Pesach Sheini, a month later. 

The first unique thing about this mitzvah is that the Torah tells us the story of how this mitzvah came to be. "There were people that were impure... They came before Moshe... Why should we lose out?... "

Another unique thing is that they only asked about being impure, which was no fault of their own. However, Hashem added that if he is far, which is understood to mean a minimal distance, this too can be made up on Pesach Sheini. 

What lesson can we take from these two oddities, the story behind the mitzvah and the addition of being far which is not really far at all? 

There is the possibility to be near and far at the same time. Near in distance yet detached and distant in attitude. Being here in body and elsewhere in mind. For example, you could be davening to Hashem, you are saying the words but your mind is wandering. Hashem wants us to be close to Him, to love Him and yet, it is possible to be so close and totally ignore Him. To this Hashem is saying "I still want you to be close to Me, try again, do it better". Only like the people in the story of Pesach Sheini, you need to really want it. If you do, it will always be possible to get close to Hashem. 

At home too, our spouses and our children yearn for our love and closeness. While we might be with them physically, it is often the case that they feel ignored because our attention is not focused on them. 

Not being able to move, I yearn to hug and play with my kids. I realize the value of spending quality time with them and I do the best I can in my circumstance to be with them. 

First you need to realize what you are missing out on, then you need to truly want to change and finally you have know that they yearn for this connection and will welcome your love. Don't give up on the best thing you have.