In The Darkness The Deepest Love Can Be Found

Print       All Devarim Articles     

This week's parsha, Devarim, is always read the Shabbos before Tisha B'Av or on Tisha B'Av itself. Tisha B'Av is the saddest day of the year, it is the day that both our Temples were destroyed and we were driven into exile. The first time for seventy years and the second lasted until the present, over nineteen hundred and fifty years. 

The Talmud tells us that in the Holy of Holies, the Keruvim, the cherubs (in the first Temple era they were on the top of the Ark, in the second Temple they were a design on the wall) would reflect the relationship between Hashem and the Jewish people. When we were in good standing they faced each other, when we were not they faced away from each other and when we were closest they were in an intimate embrace. 

The Midrash tells us that by the destruction of the Second Temple, when the Romans entered the Holy of Holies, they found the Keruvim intertwined in the most intimate embrace. 

If the Temple was being destroyed, it would seem that our relationship was on the rocks and the Keruvim should have been facing away from each other. Why were the Keruvim intertwined in the most intimate embrace? We are forced to conclude that somehow our relationship was closer than ever. How? 

Sometimes in a relationship there is a dark time, but it is not a sign that the relationship is on the rocks, just the opposite, it is a sign that the relationship is in a transition, with much better things to come. 

For example. If a guru is teaching his students and all of a sudden, a bolt of wisdom enters his mind and he knows that if he doesn't take the time at that moment to ponder on the thought, he will lose it. Either he could ponder about it while he is teaching, only giving half of his attention to his students, they will notice that he is not entirely with them and feel unimportant, or he can totally engross himself in the matter and stop teaching altogether, it will be very awkward and they will feel entirely ignored. 

In truth, it's for their sake that he is ignoring them, because as soon as he solidifies the piece of wisdom, he will share it with them. And as a matter of fact, the more he ignores them, the better he will get the idea and the better he will be able to impart the knowledge. By ignoring them, his love for his students is greater. 

The same is true for this exile, there is a reason that Hashem sent us into exile, it's not just to atone for our sins, there is something greater that we are accomplishing in this dark exile. 

The proof that it is not only to atone for our sins, is that if it was only for us to atone for our sins, the further we get into the exile the easier it should get. Because after a while some of our sins would be atoned for and after another while more of our sins would be atoned for, each time the exile should get easier and easier. But it is getting darker and darker, there must be another reason for the exile. 

When Moshiach comes and the exile ends, we won't go back to the second Temple revelation of G-dliness, or to the first Temple revelation, it will be infinitely greater. The revelation of Hashem will be his true essence from beyond all of existence, He will give us His true self, there is no greater revelation. And it's through our efforts in this exile that we are accomplishing this revelation. That is why it continues to get darker and darker, because the greater the darkness, the more powerful our service to Hashem is and the closer we get to Moshiach, the more our service has to accomplish. 

The greatest closeness to Hashem can only be achieved through the exile. And that is why the Keruvim were intertwined in the most intimate embrace, because Hashem and the Jewish people were about to set out on the ultimate quest, to come the closest possible. Although our relationship was strained, the repair of our relationship and making it the greatest possible was about to begin. So it was truly a loving moment, and possibly the most loving moment of all. 

And this is the reason that at the Bris Bein Habesarim, The Covenant Between the Parts, it says, "fear and a great darkness..." And the Midrash tells us that this refers to the exile. From the beginning, there was a plan to have the exile and Avraham knew it. Now why would he agree to something like that? Because he understood what it would give us, Hashem's essence, and he thought it was worth it and so will we when Moshiach comes. 

The same is true about marriage. A loving couple could fall on difficult times, full of frustration and hurt. This can happen even though they have no intention to be hurtful to one another, but it is all done with no malice, and they have no idea how hurtful they are being until it all blows up. Then they are thrown in to darkness and it feels like exile. They could feel in despair. 

How are they to deal with this? 

They know that they love each other and they know that they don't want to be the cause of their spouse's hurt and suffering. 

If they use this opportunity to work on their marriage, learn to understand each other better and are truly remorseful, they could attain forgiveness, take their relationship to a whole new level and their love deeper than they could have ever imagined. And when that happens, they will look back at the dark time as a good thing and the moment of their blow up as the best thing that ever happened to them. 

May we see the coming of Moshiach soon, and realize how it was this dark exile that brought us the greatest revelation, the true essence of Hashem. May we all have good, close and deep marriages. And may we merit to see Tisha B'Av become the happiest day of the year. May it happen soon.