Our Trip To NY: In Love With The Jewish People

Dedicated By Dr. Ezra and Lauren Kest 

In honor of our children who teach us how to love, listen and be heard.  They should be blessed to find, see and recognize their zivuggim at the right time and always listen well, be heard and feel listened to. 

I started to write this last week, but I was too exhausted from the trip to NY to finish it. Although it is on last week's parsha, there is a timeless lesson that can be learned from it. I hope you enjoy it. 

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Parshas Ki Seitzei, tells us the laws of divorce. 

There is a debate in the Talmud as to when a husband can divorce his wife. The school of Shamai says that only in a case of infidelity, can he give her a divorce. The school of Hillel says that even if she ruined his food (on purpose). Rabbi Akiva says that even if he finds another woman prettier than her, he can give her a divorce. 

Both the school of Shamai and the school of Hillel make sense because in each of their opinions, the wife did a negative action against her husband, an act of infidelity or spitefulness. However in Rabbi Akiva's opinion, she didn't do anything inappropriate or negative. Just because he finds another woman prettier, is that a reason that he could divorce her? Is this a Jewish value? Shouldn't he look at what is on the inside? 

The love between a husband and wife is symbolic of the love between Hashem and the Jewish people. As King Shlomo wrote about the love between a husband and wife in Song of Songs, which is a metaphor for the love between Hashem and the Jewish people, Hashem being the husband and the Jewish people being the wife. 

When they were debating which books should be part of our Tanach, many were of the opinion that the Song of Songs shouldn't be included because of the intimate nature of its content. Then Rabbi Akiva spoke up and said that the whole Torah is holy, but Song of Songs is the holiest of all. And Rabbi Akiva was the one who always "found merit for (the Children of) Israel." How could he be the one who says that if he finds another woman prettier, he can give her a divorce, does he mean that if Hashem finds another nation (G-d forbid) more appealing, He would trade us in? Certainly not. 

By Rabbi Akiva saying about the Song of Songs, which describes the love between a husband and wife, that it is the holiest of all, he is telling us that his notion of the love between a husband and wife is holy and beautiful, in other words, he thinks that this love should be deep and meaningful, not just a working relationship. You can say that his view of marriage is the most romantic of all, and when he says, "pretty," he means true beauty, inner beauty, which never diminishes, it only enhances. Rabbi Akiva thinks that every husband should see his wife as the most beautiful woman in the world, and if not... 

I remember having a discussion with someone about the mechitza in shul that separates between the men and the women during davening. And I was telling him that during davening our attention has to be completely on Hashem, we are building a relationship with Hashem. Therefore we have to minimize distractions, and being that it is the nature of men to be distracted by women, we put up a mechitza. He responded to me that his wife doesn't distract him, and he wanted to sit with his wife. I remember thinking how sad it is that his wife doesn't take his attention. If she was the most beautiful to him, she would surely be a distraction. 

The same is with the relationship between Hashem and the Jewish people. He sees what is on the inside of every one of us, and we are truly the most beautiful to Him. No other nation can compare. 

Last week I was privy to what Hashem sees in the Jewish people, that they are the most beautiful. They came together to make the dream of a father come true. A father that is not able to do anything on his own. 

When I came up with the idea of going to New York, I saw on Dina's face that she was exhausted from all of the difficulties that we have, so I let it go. I even told her to forget about it, it was only one of my wild ideas, because I didn't want to burden her with more, but she knows me better than anybody and she knew that it was important to me. 

I guess she was thinking about it, because she said to me the next day that we should try to find a way to do it, because "We can't be so busy staying alive that we are not living." And that set the ball in motion. 

It took a whole army to make it happen, and I am grateful to every one of them. They all did it out of the goodness of their hearts, giving of their time and resources to make it happen. I don't know all of the people who were involved behind the scenes, but I am grateful to every one of them. 

There was the tireless effort of my wife and the five Rabbis of the Hurwitz family fund. Then there was Dovid Raigorodsky, my daughter Fruma and her husband Levi, who arranged supplies and so much more. There were Naftali Berkowitz, and Shalom Wilhelm who did so much, I don't know where to begin. This was all before the trip began. 

The plane ride was amazing with Eli Rowe on Hatzolo Air, it was the best flight. My son Moshe put Tefillin on me and we davened, Eli, Dr. Avishai, Moshe and I discussed Torah. It was the most wonderful flight. On the way back we were joined by Yaakov. Brian, the pilot, bought a new pair of Tefillin for the plane and Shmuly Alenik was the first one to use them. I am truly grateful to Eli Rowe, and the whole crew of Hatzolo Air, for sponsoring the flights and making them so wonderful. 

Transportation from and to the flight was provided by Hatzolo of Crown Heights. I am grateful to them, especially to Chanan Feldman and Yitzchok Rimler, who were the crew that took me, they are long time friends of mine. 

I am so grateful to my aunt Miriam and my uncle Shmuel for opening their home to us and making us feel so comfortable. We had so many visitors, minyanim and kumzitzes there, it was non stop. 

I am grateful for all of you who visited. Family and friends, grade schools and high schools. We had some special visitors, Tzadikim who were in a situation like me, unable to do for themselves and their caregivers, mothers, fathers, husbands and wives who are the real Tzadikim, because it is harder on the caregiver than on the one who is sick. 

I am so grateful to my chavrusa, Berel Gurevitch, who took care of scheduling our appointments. I don't know what we would have done without him. 

Some people made appointments and others just showed up unannounced, I apologize to those who had appointments, only to find other people there when they came. 

I am grateful to those who took my kids out and showed them New York, Yossi, Emmy and Shaiya. 

I am grateful for my incredible nurses Edgar, Joy, Jose and sometimes my daughter Mussie, who went above and beyond the call of duty.

The Highlights of The Trip 

The Bar Mitzvah 

The Bar Mitzvah was amazing, it was full of love and joy. Sababa Orchestra did the music, Eli Marcus and Baruch Shalom sang. It was wonderful. I know that there are a lot of people who we have to thank for the bar mitzvah, but they are so many and I don't know all their names. I am grateful for all of you. 

The Ohel 

The main reason for the trip was to come to the Rebbe with my family and to be with my sons as they got aliyos in the Rebbe's room. 

This was the first time our whole family was at the Ohel together, so it was very meaningful to me, but it was a little bit difficult for us to be in the moment with all the cameras in our faces. Dina and my daughter Chava prepared lists of the people who asked us to daven for them. After we said our private prayers and after I gave an account of all the work we have been doing in the capacity of Shluchim of the Rebbe, Dina took out the lists, and we started davening for them. 

After the Ohel, where the Rebbe and the previous Rebbe are, we went to daven at their Rebbetzins, and then at the Rebbe's mother. There is something special about being at the Rebbetzins, you feel like they understand your pain, like only a mother would, and I broke down in tears. 

Then I went to daven at my grandparents. 

After the Ohel, and my kids having their fill of Ohel cookies, Dina and I went to visit Ben and Devora Schochet, amazing people, she was diagnosed with ALS at the same time as I was. It was an honor to be with them. 

The Rebbe's Room 

The next day, we went to the Rebbe's room, where my family was given the opportunity to be alone for a few minutes. That was very meaningful for my kids, Dina and I. As I asked for good things for my wife and children, tears were streaming down my face. 

Davening started in the Rebbe's room and when it came time to read the Torah, my eldest son, Moshe, got the first aliyah, which was very meaningful to me, because he never had an aliyah by the Rebbe. My Bar Mitzvah boy, Shalom, got the third aliyah. 

I am grateful to Chaim Baruch Halberstam and Rabbi Meir Harlig, who run things in the Rebbe's room. 

Then we had a tour of WLCC and the Rebbe's library. 

And finally, we went to the Brooklyn Artisan Bakehouse for breakfast, just the family. Amazing food. 

This is just a small example of what the Jewish people do, if you were to count all the good that is done on a daily basis, you would be overwhelmed. Hashem sees all of the goodness and kindness that the Jewish people do, He sees how beautiful we are and He is in love with us. 

May the merit of our goodness and kindness stand with us on Rosh Hashanah, and Hashem will surely grant us a good and sweet year.