Closer to HaShem Closer to Your Spouse

The month of Elul always begins around parshas Shoftim. Which speaks of appointing judges, appointing a king and cities of refuge. 

As there are no coincidences, we must ask: What lesson can we learn here?

Now is the time to get closer to HaShem. Not physically, but mentally and spiritually. 

Shoftim means judges. Now is the time to take an account of the past year. To judge yourself and see if you have used your abilities to the fullest to fulfill HaShem's will. Knowing where you stand is a great motivator. This is dealing with the past. 

"Appoint a king over yourself". Excepting HaShem as your king will move you to want to do his will, strengthening your commitment to HaShem. This is dealing with the future. 

The month of Elul is a "sanctuary city" in time. The idea of a sanctuary city is a place to go for atonement. It's an open opportunity to get closer to HaShem  as HaShem's arms are open to forgive us. 

HaShem, our king, is in the field. He is smiling and he grants good to us all. All we need to do is go out and meet him. This is a great opportunity, don't waste it. 

On a personal level. Many of us are in relationships that just seem to be on auto pilot. We don't even realize that our significant other is hurt by this. We think all is fine. 

If you think everything is fine then you need to follow the next steps. 

Ask yourself. When was the last time you sat together and talked a about what is important. Take an account of your relationship. This is dealing with the past. 

Recognize the other in the relationship. Ask. What is his/her needs? If you can't figure out on your own, ask the him/her to tell you or to write it down. Strengthen your commitment to each other. This is dealing with the future. 

Finally don't be afraid to go down this road, because bettering your relationship is something you both want. Your significant other will be more than glad to work with you to better your relationship.

Just imagine coming to shul this Rosh Hashana knowing that you are one with HaShem and one with your spouse. What a way to start the year.