Since I was a young yeshiva student, I've felt that the greatest accomplishment was to do what the Rebbe wants.
There was a competing need/want, the need to be in the presence of the Rebbe.
To be by the Rebbe or to do his work?
Though I was in his presence on many occasions, from the age of 16 whenever I had to choose between doing the rebbes work and being in his presence, doing his work always won out.
It seemed clear That to be the Rebbe's soldier, accomplishing what he wanted was by far more important.
Gimmel Tammuz 20 years ago, some were shattered, broken and it took them some time to pick up the pieces and figure out what to do next. Until this point, for them, being by the Rebbe was everything. What now?
For me it was sad but It didn't break me. It was clear. Just continue to do what the Rebbe wants.
Ultimately I got the best of both. Being close on hundreds of occasions and doing the Rebbe's work.
When I was close I felt that he was proud of me, I was his man, his soldier.
Going onto Shlichus was just the next step as I was already a shliach.
Now when you are the Rebbe's messenger, you are one with the Rebbe, you can't get any closer than that.
The Rebbe is the Moshe Rabeinu of our generation. HaShem speaks through him. His mission is HaShem's mission. Doing the Rebbe's mission is doing HaShem's mission. Being his shliach makes you HaShem's shliach. You are then one with the Rebbe, one with HaShem.
Now that's close.
What is there left to do? Just a little.
You are the Rebbe's shliach or at least you could be if you chose. In your home, at work and wherever you are.
This way we will accomplish the mission. We will bring Moshiach and be once again in his presence.